


Kiss-Moose

by tprillahfiction



Series: The Nog Verse [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Christmas Angst, Christmas!fic, Established Relationship, Kirk Ruminates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 18:12:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2821526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tprillahfiction/pseuds/tprillahfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Bones sulk through a Christmas visit at Bones' grandma's house when they'd both rather be with their significant others instead.</p><p>Kirk/Spock, Bones/Carol</p><p>Written for K/S Advent 2014</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss-Moose

“Isn’t that one just gorgeous?” Bones' grandma says for the umteenth time.

“Uh huh,” Bones replies, in a bored, put upon voice as he sips on his brandy laden eggnog and sulks. Jim glances over at the grumpy physician. The man sits next to him on the balcony, staring straight ahead, biting on his thumb, slouched in his seat facing the _Naples Christmas Boat Parade_ happening right now on the bay. The parade is beautiful but Jim feels just as miserable as the doctor looks. 

He and Bones are prisoners. Well...not prisoners in the traditional sense where they’re stuck on a distant world with the transporter malfunctioning and an alien leader has them sequestered in a tiny freezing cell to await execution. Though this might feel very similar to that type of situation-- this is almost akin to torture, right now, but they are here on Earth...against their will. Kinda. But, this is a cage. A guilded cage but still a cage that they cannot get out of, not right now at least. Bones had dragged him along to grandma’s house. For Christmas. Bones had promised his grandma he’d show up this year--and Jim wasn’t doing anything special so the doctor had managed to twist Jim’s arm, beg, plead, threaten, bribe, anything the doctor could think of, to get Jim to tag along here with him. Yay.

Bones’ grandma is nice and friendly and all but she does seem like an alien creature almost, with her near obsession with anything Christmas. Bones’ grandma LOVES Christmas, as Bones had warned Jim a week ago-- and Jim thought the man was simply exaggerating, just being a drama queen as usual, until they actually arrived here in 'Santa’s Lair'--which is what Jim's taken to calling this place. Bones was not shitting him. The whole house is decorated on both the outside and the inside with lights and bows and gifts and candy canes and holly and a nativity scene and little lit up model houses and a train set and a giant real pine christmas tree with plenty of ornaments and lights and tinsel and garland and the house looks like it belongs in a damned Christmas advertisement.

Jim and Bones will be trapped here for two weeks total in 'Santa’s Lair' on the Naples Bay in Long Beach, California. Bones’ grandma had just bought this house a year ago in the city situated right next to the Pacific Ocean, in between palm trees also decorated with lights, where it’s not too cold out and not too hot during December. It’s just right. So, yes, Long Beach is nice too and this is a beautiful home and Bones’ grandma is estatic to see Bones again and Jim’s happy for her and she’s the sweetest thing ever, short and saucy, a personality to match Bones and there’s lots of eggnog available (that Bones keeps spiking with brandy) and lots of cookies and cakes and food to snack on. 

The only problem is, Jim and Bones are attached. Not to each other, mind you. Jim has been with Spock for a couple weeks now and Bones has been with Carol Marcus for the same amount of time. They got together after the 1920’s themed Christmas party that Bones had organized on the Enterprise. Jim had gotten embarrasingly drunk on spiked eggnog but Spock was there, looking after him, singing him love songs and Bones had even gotten the girl, his beloved Carol Marcus, the one the doctor had had a crush on for a long time. Spock and Carol, their significant others, can’t be here right now. Carol was ordered to go on a science mission to Celus IV and that means she’ll be gone for several weeks. Spock had already made plans previously for the shoreleave to go home to NuVulcan. Spock will not be celebrating any holidays, in fact the Vulcans have no festivals during this time. The first officer is there to offer any assistance to the budding colony. 

For the first few days they were stuck here he and Bones had tried desperately to think of stuff to do to entertain themselves, activities that they could bring Grandma along to, like shopping or coffee in Belmont Shore, or maybe a Christmas play at the Long Beach Playhouse, to keep their minds off of their absent lovers. And Bones' grandma's been dragging them to plenty of activities such as parties or the living nativity over in North Long Beach, or the Belmont Shore Christmas Parade or walking along the Naples canal to see the houses all lit up.

All week Bones’ grandma has been sporting an assortement of ugly christmas sweaters along with wearing a santa hat on her head and insisting that Bones and Jim also wear ugly christmas sweaters--she’s given them two weeks worth--isn’t that nice of her? So to keep the peace, they’re wearing them. And while they are warm up here on the balcony, watch the boats gliding by, the hulls decorated with thousands of multicolored lights, they feel silly in these damned sweaters. Tonight Bones’ grandma has a sweater on with this huge, ridiculous looking moose on it with lights strung into the antlers and the words underneath, say: ‘Merry Kiss-Moose’. Each time Jim sees it, he wishes he was 'Merrily Kissing His Vulcan Boyfriend’. 

Bones is glumly sporting a green sweater with ‘The Grinch’ on it. Very appropriate, Jim thinks. Jim wishes he had a Grinch sweater too to match his mood. But instead, he’s got this blue sweater with a cat sitting on top of a christmas gift. His sweater says: 'Meowy Christmas'. He has a feeling Bones‘ grandma knitted this thing herself. She probably did. 

He wishes Spock was inside a Christmas gift box, all wrapped up and ready to pop out naked for him. Right now.

Yes, he’s fucking horny. You try going without sex with Spock for a week. That’s how long it’s been. And he will be forced to go without for another long week. Damn. Jim shifts over in his seat. He’s getting another boner. He’s even been avoiding jacking off in the shower all week, because ewww, masturbating in Bones’ grandma’s pink bathroom with the cute little flowered wallpaper and pink rugs and knitted toilet paper cosy and the holly decorations just seems terribly inappropriate--but Bones has probably been at it twice a day-- but Jim thinks tonight he just might have to relieve himself after all. 

If he was with Spock right now, all cosy, maybe they'd take a gondola ride on the canals and cuddle together under a blanket and snack on cheese and wine and listen to the gondolier in traditional attire sing a romantic love song to them under a bridge. Then a little later, in bed, Spock would probably been kneeling down in front of him with that warm, pouty, beautiful mouth wrapped around his cock. Licking and sucking, maybe that green tongue might lap at his balls here and there, then the mouth would go back to licking the head and then take him deep down to the throat, then he'd come deep into Spock's mouth and that gorgeous boyfriend of his would swallow every last drop. Then after that Jim would be on his back, legs resting on Spock's shoulders as Spock thrusts into him, fucking him hard, fucking him fast, taking him. 

A boat sounds it's horn, it's loud, and breaks him out of his fantasy. Jim shifts in his seat again. Bones snickers.

Jim can’t stand it anymore, he's climbing the fucking walls. He's about ready to ask the doctor for maybe a potion to get rid of his raging hard on and his ramped up sex drive, but he doesn't think there is such a thing. But maybe there should be, because he can't wait another week. He's gonna go insane. This is...hell on Earth. 

He glances at Bones again and the doctor scratches the stubble on his face and lolls his head over at Jim, their eyes meet and Jim is certain the man can read his mind. Bones reaches out gives Jim a playful punch in the arm. Those eyes mirror his: ‘Kill me now. Put me out of my fucking misery.’

Jim scrunches up his face in agreement. 

“Would you like another glass of eggnog, Jim?” Bones' grandma asks.

Jim swivels his head around. Good thing he's got a blanket over his lap. “Yes please, Mrs. McCoy. That sounds great."

“Not 'Mrs. McCoy', I told you for the thousanth time,” she protests. “It’s 'GRANDMA'.”

“Sorry, Grandma,” Jim says obediently as the silver haired woman hands over the eggnog. 

“I hope you haven’t drank too many of these, Jim. There’s a lot of sugar and calories in eggnog.”

“A little too late to worry about that now, Grannie,” Bones says with a snort. Jim takes a bite of his hundreth cookie of the day and shrugs. After Grandma goes back to sit down, Bones pulls out the brandy flask and surepticiously dumps a healthy measure into Jim’s glass. 

“After this parade is over with, lets go Christmas caroling! Doesn’t that sound like fun?” Grandma says.

Bones bites his lip, looks like he’s about to cry. Jim’s never seen the poor guy in such a state. “Oh man," Bones practically whimpers. "My girlfriend’s name is Carol.”

“Lenny, why didn’t your girlfriend come with you?” Grandma demands. “I want to meet her.”

“I told you before, Grannie, she’s away on a mission,” Bones grumps out. “Jim’s boyfriend had to go home to Nu-Vulcan. You’ll have to meet them both another time.” He scowls into his glass. Shifts into his chair. 

“Well, never mind. Tomorrow we’ve got lots of things planned,” Grandma tells them. “We’re going to watch a Candlelight Christmas Concert at St. Lukes where we'll listen to Christmas music played on their pipe organ by their resident organist. Doesn't that sound wonderful?”

Bones and Jim both let out a strangled noise. 

“God, that sounds so romantic,” Jim whispers. “I bet Spock would love to play the pipe organ there.”

“Carol would look so beautiful in the candlelight,” Bones whines.

Jim thinks for a moment. They have to do something. Desperate times call for desperate measures. "Hey, Bones?" 

"Yeah?"

"I think we should go have our picture taken with Santa Claus tomorrow, at the Cerritos Mall. Then when Santa asks us what we wish for, for Christmas, we can tell him what we want, right Bones?"

"Hey, yeah Jim. Santa always grants good little boys' wishes," Bones says with wide eyes.

"Right. We've been good this year, haven't we, Bones?"

"Well, I have," Bones says. "I don't know about you."

"So maybe we'll get what we want. Maybe?" Jim says hopefully.

"Maybe, Jim." Bones grins back at him. 

"Now you two are getting into the Christmas spirit!" Grandma calls over to them. "Merry Kiss-Moose!"

Jim and Bones both groan at that.  
______

end


End file.
